5 Solutions To Getting Through the “Terrible Twos”

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Misunderstood small human. That is how I describe two-year-olds. I would even dare to say that they are not “terrible”. A toddler should not be described as awful or terrible like we make this phase of growing up sound. They are just small misunderstood humans who have the same emotions as adults. They are unsure of how to process those emotions and therefore act out.

Nothing your child does during this phase is their fault.

What do I mean by this? A lot of tantrums that put parents on their last nerve can be prevented. By the parents.

Problem #1: Let’s say you are rushing in the morning to make it to work. You have to get yourself ready, the kids ready, make lunch, and get out the door. Your toddler tells you they want to dress themself. However, you feel like there is no time for that so you do it for them and the meltdown ensues.

Solution #1: Knowing you have to be out the door by 8 a.m. you should set out the clothes your toddler will put on for the day. Let them know the clothes are ready for when they are ready to get dressed. By you picking the clothes you still have some control over the situation. By giving them the clothes to put on it gives them responsibility. Makes them feel like they are doing something independently. At the end of the day, that’s all they want.

Problem #2: It has been scientifically proven that toddlers need about 2 hours outside each day. Much like dogs, they thrive in the outdoors. However, you have been working on your computer all day. Your toddler has now picked up a British accent from watching Peppa Pig throughout the day. You can see your toddler getting annoyed at the smallest of things. And you are not prepared for that meltdown.

Solution #2: If you are a working parent at home or you have weekends with your toddler, there are two solutions here. Creating a schedule for your child does them as much good as it does you. Having two outside playtimes scheduled allows for you and your child to get a break. I would recommend right before nap time/lunchtime. Also, right after nap time before dinner. It breaks up your day and theirs.

Problem #3: Picky eaters. We want to believe our children will eat everything we make. More often than not we lose this battle. While I believe we need to get our children more accustomed to everyday foods, sometimes we need to give them exactly what they want.

Solution #3: Like adults, kids have cravings for different foods. The same way we crave a chocolate cake at the end of the night, they might crave chicken nuggets for the fifth day in a row. Yes, it is important to expose them to different foods. One easy way to do this is in small waves. Instead of changing the menu every night, slowly integrate new foods each week.

Problem #4: Your toddler has trashed your house. Toys are everywhere. You are on your last nerve attempting to clean the house. Your toddler can feel how frustrated you are and they begin to act out.

Solution #4: Limit the number of toys your toddler has. This can either be getting rid of those toys through donation or hiding some of the toys in a separate room. Sensory overload for toddlers is the reason for a lot of meltdowns. Provide them with just enough toys to encourage learning, either puzzles, or coloring books, trucks, or animals, etc. Books do not count as toys. Having a lot of books allows your toddler to pick one up and begin to read.

Problem #5: You just got off work. You are heading home to see your family. Your toddler is so excited to see you and runs up for a hug. You give them a quick hug and then continue on with your list of things you needed to do for your nighttime routine.

Solution #5: Toddlers much like adults have bad days too. They get tired faster than we do, so by 5 p.m, they are exhausted and just looking for cuddles. Find a way to incorporate into your nighttime routine at least 30 minutes of talking, cuddling, or quality time with your toddler. Even though they may not know how to communicate their day, they will want to share their day with you in the evening.

Toddlers are in a phase of their life when so much is going on. They start developing personalities. They begin finding things they like and do not like. They go to daycare and begin to interact with other toddlers. It really is a lot for them to handle. As parents, we can make the transition phase of “terrible twos” so much easier by creating boundaries for them with enough wiggle room for them to do things on their own. Make them feel like they have a choice.